Im sitting here in my half put together living room, on the verge of another spout of tears. After a week of moving, packing, and being 8 1/2ish months pregnant, its been stressful and overwhelming, Im not going to lie. We still have to move some of our other kitchen, and i have to clean. And now we have a house full of boxes, trash from cleaning and unfinished painting jobs, and no matter how much i scrub everything is still nasty and dirty and needing painting. I never thought this whole thing would be such a big deal, i mean moving is a little stressful but really!?
I cant do everything, i have a massive stomach in my way, and its now super hard. My poor husband is helping me out like a poor slave boy all while having a MAJOR lack of sleep, getting sick, sore everything from moving, and working 8 hours a day, AND yet still having a good attitude and encouraging me. How? I dont know???
Im just needing to vent and cry a little tonight…
I dont know what it means to have OPTIONS, i have to be honest with myself and say i dont like change to much, and its really hard for me, unless its planned. (i know im crazy) SO, im happily packing and moving, everything perfectly labeled, and then get to the new place and BAM! I cant just do everything the SAME, which i did not even think about. SO im in a whirlwind of trying to figure things out, and wanting to do something NEW, but dont even know where to start. (I know, one box at a time, one room at a time) tried it, got half way done and then had to start on something else cause we needed it. So now i have every room STARTED, not finished, and not cleaned. Im a bit, let me rephrase, Im a big germ freak especially when its someone else’s nasty grime, that has a big question mark above it…gross…
This is my predicament, 1: unpack and clean just what im doing at a time, but leave everything else a crazy mess? OR 2: Do i clean the entire room then unpack? (these obviously are not my only options, but are two i cant ignore)
I just want to “NEST” but i cant and it sucks ..period.. Other peoples nasty ?’s are driving me up the walls, and i cant clean like i would actually feel comfortable living in, the “touch up” painting to COVER grime is not done, my belly is COMPLETELY in the way of everything and hindering me for all of it, I have boxes and boxes of stuff i dont know what to begin with, I have an amazing and overly stretched husband i have to ask to do everything, down to even moving a box because “its to heavy”, two scared and freaked out cats that are getting NO attention locked in the scary basement and feel terrible about it, Im a month and a half away from meeting our baby and dont have anything ready for him, the pregnancy fatigue and nausea has hit me again, i still have to clean and finish moving the other apt., i have to deal with my car and get it towed still, i dont know what to do and make everything work Smoothly with all these options and decisions, did i mention my stomach is always in the way, and i constantly get remarks on how big i am and rude stares everywhere? I LOVE baby’s movements and kicks, but lately they have been anything but pleasant, when he does kick its a full moving of my ribs, or He is literally going to punch right through my skin. (even thought they still make me smile)And my hormones and emotions are at an all time high. I have never in my life been so down, or i guess blah about myself. My hands and feet are swollen, i have gained enough weight to live off of for 10 years, and my new stretch marks are not helping in any way, shape, or form, and any sort of moving, walking, stretching, exercise leaves me out of breath. BLAH feeling ( i have always been athletic and in good shape) I know it will all be worth it, and im not a vain kind of person but its really getting me down, and its a new challenge to have to deal with, and am not to sure how to. And to top it all off my lips are chapped!
This is a LITTLE of where i am right now, the last few days, and im sure the next few. I just feel useless
Im trying so hard not to just go at everything and do my thing, but i cant thats just not feasible right now being pregnant. I am trying to enjoy this last few weeks of this journey, but its hard right now. I want to enjoy nesting like everyone else does, and do some cleaning, and getting ready, but i have “demolition” projects ahead of me..
All of this to say, i love our new home. Its perfect for us, big and cozy (minus the scary basement). It needs to be MAJORLY cleaned, and the baseboards need to be painted, but its wonderful. I need to put away and find places for everything, but im thankful we’re not lacking. I love my husband more then ever, he is absolutely amazing, and needs a Husband of the Year award! (literally)
Please pray for me to get things done as smoothly and quickly as possible so i can enjoy the last bit of this. I would like to finish and just be able to go and sit in the prayer room and relax before baby comes. :(