Labor Guessing Game

I figured i would let everyone know what has been going on and where im at in this pregnancy right now. I have a moment while everyone is occupied and Boy is sleeping. Warning this is going ot be a bit long winded just so you know what really is going on.. :) I left alot out for the sake of being able to get through it all…

Thursday Night:

Around the 6th i started getting alot of Braxton Hicks Contractions which by the end of the night ended up being real ones, like my whole stomach tightening. I decided to just wait things out to see if i would feel better in the morning since i wasn’t in any kind of pain or discomfort, which i did. On that Tuesday they started up again, and by Thursday afternoon i was getting cramping in my lower stomach with each one. So i decided to head to the hospital after a bit of convincing just to be sure things were ok, and didn’t have some kind of infection causing the contractions (I did with Bodie at this time).

Once we finally got to the hospital and i got hooked up i saw the Dr. on duty which summed me up to being dehydrated, which was totally upsetting b/c i knew i wasn’t and there was something else going on. They checked me and i was actually dilated to a smallish one, (no big deal at all). So they kept monitoring me and and I was getting normal contractions that were getting more regular and stronger. After a few hours they checked me again and i was dilated more. They also told me they would not be able to deliver the baby at that hospital b/c they only deliver after 36 weeks, for the baby’s safety and would have to transfer me (that night by ambulance) to the other brach downtown where they have a NICU. Basically the complete ghetto that you aren’t able to walk around the building and #1 in trauma in KC due to all the people wandering in off the street with gun shot and other wounds. Uh, what?! *cue all emotional stress and hormones*

Keeping all the factors of the day in mind: hadn’t eaten dinner, Bodie was at a friends going with no nap towards bed time, and i had already been there about 4 hours, and Dan had just left to put Boy to bed and have a friend come stay at our house while we were gone. It was super stressful.

They ordered me an ultrasound to be sure i was progressing, which i was. When i got back from the ultrasound i was given an IV which took four tries all over my arms, with alot of digging for my veins, and then another ultrasound to be sure baby was head down. The nurse told me i was about 90% for having the baby that night and needed to prepared myself for delivery. I think you can imagine the shock at this point. I was most likely having this baby tonight AND not with My midwife or at my hospital….!??!

At this point in the night everything was a complete blur. I was an emotional wreak, not being ready for all this so early, Dan was still gone trying to figure out what to do with Bodie if this goes down, I was shaking like a leaf, and the Dr.s were zipping in and out of the room. Complete Chaos. On top of everything going on with my body trying to go into full labor.

So When Dan arrived back at the hospital is was around 10pm. We waited another hour for the ambulance to arrive and they gave me a medicine called Procardia (sp?) to stop or slow labor so they could transport me. Which began working right away. My contractions were still coming just as ofter just not as strong and i didn’t have anymore pain.  I finally was shipped off to the other hospital and Dan followed in the car so we would have it when we left.

Once i got to the hospital downtown no one was willing to actually help me or tell me what to do. I stood at the receptionist desk holding my own IV bag with its ten foot tubes dragging on the floor and  my open gown on the verge of showing everything. The men that transferred me actually waited and made them help tell me what to do. Oh and Dan wasn’t allowed to come see for twenty minutes. Seriously i have no idea why, i think it was honestly just to be a pain. At this point we had been going through everything in the hospitals since around 6 and it was now past midnight.

I was hooked up and checked again which I had only progressed to a two since taking the medicine. So she said she would be back in a ‘bit’ to recheck me for progress. (alot of extra was going on bewtween all this). SO two hours later she came back and i was in the clear to finally go home since the medicine did what it needed to do for now.

As far as i know and have been communicated with i need to head back in if my contractions get strong again or have any pain. Thats it…

The next morning, two hours after getting home, i woke up with True labor in progress, i was having to fully breathing through contractions and in a TON of pain, so i decided to hop in the bath since it was only 2 hours after we had just gotten home. And no kidding the second i sat down everything stopped and was fine, no pain, no really hard make me sick contractions. Amazing. So we decided not to head back.

I had some of the worst migraines and soreness that next day due to all the stress, lack of sleep, and the medication they gave me to stop labor. I had to sit in the same position for over 9 hours and was so sore mainly my tailbone and back. It was such a blessing dan called into work (no way i could have even functioned on my own), and Dan’s mom flew into town that day as well. Which was such a blessing.

Where Im at now:

Dan’s mom was planning on coming for the week and after all the events decided to fly in two days early. She has been a HUGE blessing in the everything help department, especially since i am trying to be on some sort of easy going schedule. :)

I am still having contractions, but not really any pain most of the time. Basically im in early labor, but could go on like this of another full month and still have to be induced. So really its a guessing game. Im trying to hold out to go get checked or try to have this baby till at least this Friday 36 week mark, so i will be able to deliver at our hospital and with my midwife.

Right now, i am completely not at peace. I hate not knowing whats going on with my body, and not knowing anything about my situation.

I am so physically tired from a full week of ‘early labor’ i dont have anything left in me at this point. Even though Im not in any sort of ‘pain’ with all the constant contractions (atleast ten an hour, which doesn’t seem like alot but they aren’t BH) i had no idea how much they weigh on your body. My emotions are drained, from my hormones going through the roof the last few days and from being so tired.

I am weak, in every aspect of the word. physically, emotionally, spiritually, everything. I need prayer, alot of it. I literally can not do this for an entire month. There is honestly no way. I just cry when i think of things and where we are at. On the edge of guessing, and not being able to do anything. Im praying we have her early, i want to go into labor (after Friday). I know thats selfish, and she will come when she is ready, but at this point i dont care. I dont want you to think i dont want her to be perfectly healthy, or anything, because i want that more then anything or anyone. The constant reminder of her being able to come at any point with every contraction through the day is unbearable. Not unbearable like in the last few weeks just he anxiousness, but unbearable in the sense of unendurable. Which is not fully true because i have the Lord but i think you know what i mean.  The weakness im feeling is like nothing i have ever been through even at my worst. I think i need a sign to say ‘checked out’, or ‘over it’ hanging around my neck. ;)

Please just pray for me, i dont know how to really write what i am going through, i dont know that there are words mainly there have just been those hot tears that pour down my face, or complete frustration. Prayer will be good. Pray for strength in every way, emotionally, and physically. Pray she is perfectly healthy and ready to come. Pray she does come early. We are ready, my body is ready, my heart is prepared. I cant do this for an entire month.

I know this got a bit raw and totally scattered/jumpy, but i want you to know where Im at so you know, and i have out it out there to be real. I dont want this to be a sympathy post on me, at all, thats not why i put it up. I just need prayer.

OK, well i knew this would get a little long winded and if you did make it to the end thanks for listening and caring. :) I will be keeping you all updated on what is going on, or not going on…

<3 Ash