It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
This last week has been a beating on us as a family. Bodie has been much more emotional and defiant then normal. Tantrums, yelling, and time out have literally been running our home this last week. My house has never been this messy, I have have been battling headaches and migraines for days, Elsie has gracefully taken the back burner to her brother, Bode has been very sick and recovering, and Dan is steadily loving us in all of our chaos.
I never imagined parenting easy by any means, but I also never imagined having a ‘bodie’ either. He will truly change the world, and has the strength to do it completely by himself. I dont say that lightly or as a pep talk to myself, but in all honestly he lives life to the absolute fullest in the good or bad. And being a mom to one of ‘those’ is not easy either. Why or how the Lord chooses is a mystery to me. Maybe I need the change more then most..
Everything seems to be a down this last week with him and a battle royal for us. Not getting to watch movies, or a veggie Tales, or getting a cookie when he demands, milk after we pour juice and the list goes on and on to even the smallest battles of not crunching crackers on the floor and having his bink not just for bed.
Something has to give at some point. We have tried every kind of discipline, love, everything. But the tantrums and screaming still exists. Im not a crazy bootcamp kind of mom but my kids are going to be respectful and kind and loving even when they dont want to, because thats love. The Father treats us the same.
At my breaking point today in prayer and searching out wisdom on his heart and stewarding it rightly as a parent, the lord spoke so softly,
I carry your heart unique to you, to how you were created. Why would you handle his any different?
Oh….. right. If im not dealing with his heart in the way it was formed and feels loved how will I ever bring discipline unto him desiring Jesus through it all. Im not talking unique in boy and girl and every child is different kinda way, but in how we were created and how we are loved. A very seasoned mother told me one time “Just be a ‘yes’ mom”. Until today I thought that was crazy. After yet another humbling and banging my head kind week Im beginning to understand.
With Bodie, everything is a battle, unless one of us gives. His heart needs some yes’es. So maybe that means a cookie for a snack, or an extra movie. The kids doesnt take any down time in the day and has to work twice as hard as any of us. Why not? When it is purely out of desire and not out of boredom or replacing something like a movie for something.
At the end of the day, does he have joy, peace, love, know love, give love, seek Jesus? Thats what matters. Not if he uses a bink at two Im pretty sure he wont have it in high school. (hopefully) Even today i said yes and let him go watch Dragons while I cleaned and played with Elsie. He has yet to be disobedient or anything. If anything he is happy, Elsie got momma time and i got the house slightly picked up. I would say that is a win. Movies is an easy example right now, but even in a movie he chills out, afterwards he uses his imagination way more, his talking is better, and he is happy and able to love on his sister more.
Now my home isnt turning over to free for all, I love my kids too much or that. And flat disobedience is different then battles…But a ‘yes’ and even discipline each go further when carrying a heart unique to how it was created I am going to be a yes mom. And I will carry his heart rightly, and i will love past my knowledge through Jesus. It may not look text book, but it works. Even past my own ideas and walls, I will love rightly.
If you had not seen of my twitter feed, bodie is a healing kinda man. thats what his heart prays for on a consistent basis outside of us and our nudgings. He has prayed for me multiple times and has had instant results. the other day I woke up with full blown pink eye, showered got ready did the morning and it was still there hours later. I had Boy pray for me and within 20 minutes it was 100% gone and I was healed! Lets hear an AMEN! ;) Oh to have faith like a child!!
Parenting is not easy but it truly is a honour to search it out.